Friday, May 22, 2009

Hate and Anger.

Why do people can't see others happiness?Instead they will try to corrupt it for good?Duh.I just hate those people.I haven't interfere with your life then why should you interfere with mine?Don't try to say that you are trying to care about me because i don't want to.I am a big girl and i know what i do and what i can't do.

So,who cares,me uploaded my bf's picture into FB?It is not only me who did it FOR SURE.Fuck you lah.I just hate it so much when my mum starts to blabbering about me and my routine and studies.Yes,I know im stupid.Enough of it.Don't try to compare me with my other cousin.They have REAL family while im NOT.you see,i can't talk about anything to my mum.she's not my friend.she even did not want to think me as a friend.and deep inside i just hate her.Yeah.i've told the whole world,i hate my mum,because she made my life miserable.I can't talk to almost anything to my mum.about my personal stuff is a no no.she will never want to hear about it and if she did hear about it tho,she'll always blame me and me and me.not only once she encourage me to do something or even calm me down.she'll always hate me and i will hate her as well.she even told me that she will never give me anything ever again.anything that i want,i have to ask my dad for it and my dad is being controlled by her so,it will always be her decision all the time.

Why my family is like this?I did not talk to my dad,my dad won't talk to me unless it is an important thing to talk about and i can't be friends with my mum as well.I hate this family.It is not a family at all.The only alive person they love is my cat.

Why can't my family be like anyone elses?That is why i am very cold hearted.because i am being treated this way since i was little.Oh yeah mummy,I NEED A ROOM FOR ME TO DO ALL MY THINGS.I NEED A ROOM TO STUDY,I NEED A ROOM TO DO MY FYP2 WORK AND I NEED A ROOM FOR MYSELF.

Oh yeah,me vs ano.you see mum,ano has a preety great life.her mum is open minded and we could talk almost ANYTHING to her.*maybe because her mum is working and she SEES THE WORLD AROUND HER*.you know,like friends.and she'll reacts like friends as well.not as a mother.and that is why she's 'independant' but who cares about me not being independent.I am different from others can't you see that?Oh no,you can't.You want me to be tipical?Oh no i can't be tipical.I hate tipical.And one thing mum,I am FRIENDS with those artists because i treat them as my friends.I don't lookup to them like they are some kinda angel or something.It is their job,to perform.And being an artist is not DUMB!They earn money alot more then YOU do for sure,mum.So,stop blabbering about me being friends with an artist.And do not try to stop me if my passion is on that side too.I love theater,I love to sing.It is what I LOVE and GOOD to do at.Why can't you just understand or even ask me what do i want in life?Office work is so not my type.Why should i do it for the sake of you.Why you never want to believe and support me on what i want to do?Why is it always going to be about YOU and YOU.No wonder I have schizophrenia.Depression and stuff.I think I need to go and see psychiatrist.Maybe i have high blood as well.And then,you'll blame me for not eating so well.Not eating veggies and stuff.oh shit,that is so KOLOT mum.

And sayang,u wanna know who said im dumb,it is my family.Because they tend to see me like im in my primary school years.you know?when i always have my 1st or 2nd or 3rd place in the exams?HAHA.so funny right?I am still a little child to them.If only Universities are as easy as primary or secondary school maybe I could score high.So,my education level is just up to primary school.not even secondary school. *as what my mum said i USED to be brilliant when i was little,getting high position in school.so i assume that my education level is just up untill primary school because only during my primary school i got high grades.haha*.

And last but not least,I need my own room so that you don't have to hear me clenching anymore.yeah,you are busybodying with my personal life right now and yes of course im tense.it is you who tenses me,mum.not the laptop,not the tv,it is you.Want to know more about teeth clenching -> Teeth clenching.

Shit.I need my wingman right now.Sayang,where are you?hurm~

4 comments

  1. babe..sabar ya...dont be sad..just let me know if u want to hang out..i`ll ready for u k..bykkn solat n berdoa oke =)

    ReplyDelete
  2. aku tak sedih yana.
    aku dah biasa dah sebenarnya keadaan cam ni.
    kalau ko tengok posting aku yang lepas2 pun sama je aku membebel.haha.
    just that aku perlu menaip.tu yang aku taip tu.
    thanks babe,baca blog aku. :) later kita hangout la.aku bawak irfan skali.maybe this sun ke.tgk macam mane.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Gosh..missy hope u are feeling better....after few posts.Hihi *hug hug* Parents usually have a hard time understanding anything. That is why we are categorized as the next gen. If we're in the same gen as them, we would be so much older and could be friends with them coz they could relate to us better. I used to wish to be the only child but i think it could get pretty lonely.*sowie* Having 4 broz is no fun too ya know...but it is good to see the "other" side of boys...like how they are at home and outside.It is funny how they act BIG outside.LMAO!Anyway,if u ever feel u wanna spill stuff,feel free to nudge me. ;)

    p/s:Don't think too much.As for your room,grab something nice,sleep in the living room or something.No privacy sux!Btw,u know i talk alot..i even talk in my sleep. In that case,maybe ur clenching is better.*hugs*

    Take care!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thanks sis.yeah.it is kinda sux not to have privacy.what in the world is life without privacy.hurm.

    Thank you so much.

    p/s:please dont tell ur mum about this.lol.

    ReplyDelete