Monday, May 4, 2009

Love Questions Every Guy Asks Himself

On a First Date

  • What's she like in bed?

  • If I don’t get laid tonight, will this end early enough for me to meet up with friends?

  • But...will I get laid tonight?

  • Is that a superultrawünderbra or are her breasts that incredible?

  • Does she think I’m funny?

  • Do I tell her she has a piece of lettuce stuck in her teeth or do I hope it works itself loose before she looks in a mirror and completely freaks out?

  • Does she always wear this much makeup?

  • Are lulls in the conversation first-date awkwardness or a sign that she has nothing to say?

  • Would doing this again be worth the time and money?

  • Before Getting Married

  • I love the way things are, so will marriage change anything?

  • Is she gonna go bonkers while planning the wedding?

  • Will she eventually look as MILF-hot (or troll-like) as her mom does?

  • Can I handle her insane family for the rest of my life…and can she handle mine?

  • Will she be a good mother?

  • She may work now, but do I make enough money to support her and a family if I need to?

  • Will I ever be able to spend time by myself again?

  • Do I know I can count on her in a crisis?

  • Can I be happy never having sex with another woman for the rest of...my...life?
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