I am a survivor.

I am a survivor. I can be alone all by myself and yet still alive. I survive from the shittiest time in my life. It happened twice so far in my life. I survived.

Although i may need someone to talk to about things but hey, I can be alone. I can survive when i am alone. So why should i be scared. I can be in love or out of love. It doesn’t matter anyway now. It’s hard to find someone for you to take care of. But when you have that someone it’s hard to ignore things they did wrong and sometimes we protect them from doing wrong. But it just seems like they do not care about that one i guess. Maybe less caring is cool enough? People said caring is sharing. I say caring is…bullshito? :P

Aih. I am going to do some major shop shop tomorrow. I have a lot of things to buy. :D Can’t wait to get out from this stress.

Smile.

Right now I am not going to let my anger conquer my mind now. I am trying to control myself from being the girl version of ‘Incredible Hulk’. I have done my part. I have been saying the same thing for over and over again but I get no respond. I am getting sick and tired of everything I said and now i want to take it back, ALL of it for good.

I am really frustrated with the responds that i get. No matter what i say, it’s always never been good and people always neglected it. What is the point of me giving advise but no one even bother to listen? I have tried my best, I have done my part and actually i give up. I got nothing in return, even a thing that can say that i am proud of them. Why should i praise them for the thing that they did not listen to me? Got what i mean right?

In Malay we have ‘Berbuih mulut’ meaning that you give advise that people don’t want to listen. It’s like, your mouth is tired of giving advise to others.

Right now i just can smile. :)

Hipokrit.

Aku benci orang yang hipokrit.Depan cakap lain,blakang cakap lain.Kalau orang macam ni,aku akan cuba untuk tak bagitau ape2 kat derang.Sebab nanti derang sure akan passkan semua info2 aku bgtau tu kat orang lain.Contohnya exhibit A ni dia memang orang yang hipokrit. Lepas tu dia berkawan dengan exhibit B.Dalam masa dia berkawan tu dia kutuk2 exhibit B kat blakang.Tapi,depan exhibit B tu bukan main lagi la baik comel2 gitu. :P

Tapi,aku rasalah..semua orang pun hipokrit. SEMUA orang. Tak mungkin ada yang tak hipokrit. Tapi bergantung kepada tahap hipokrit lah kan. Kalau hipokrit yang terlampau nampak yang dia tu HIPO besar, memang itu jauh2kan lah diri dengan dia. Serious dia merbahaya! haha. :P Kalau nak berkawan, jangan la sesekali mengadu domba nasib dengan dia. Nasihat ni, daripada seorang yang pernah terkena dengan orang macam ni. :)

So, pendek kata, bagi aku semua orang pun hipokrit. Tapi aku tetap benci hipokrit. Tak bermakna aku benci semua orang. Nak hipokrit jangan kasi nampak. Itu je. Nak kutuk2 blakang ke ape ke, depan2 jangan la plak g buat lagi benda yang dah kena kutuk tu Sah sah la nanti kena kutuk dengan pihak lain pulak. :P

Sunshine.

I miss my sunshine. She’s at Perth for now. :( I hope she’s good there and i hope that she can survive living there for the time being. Cepat2 balik weh!!! Hehe. Boleh buat plan best2 lagi. Haha. :P

Erm, I got my first paycheque today. Yahoo! Have to save a little for now. Although i still got my allowance from my daddy but i don’t think so that i will be getting that anymore.sigh! ;p

*kahkahkahkahakaha.@ delicious Bangsar*

Cakap tak serupa dengan bikinnya.

Heh. Aku rasa hampir semua orang akan cakap cakap cakap cakap tapi tak serupa dengan bikinnya (bukan bikini nya,ok). Aku dah nampak ramai sangat orang macam ni, dan aku rasa mungkin lah, termasuk aku jugak. Cakap gah saje tapi nak buat payah. haha. ;p

Aku tak salahkan orang macam ni, tapi ye lah, nasihat aku kalau korang cakap tu,dan korang rasa-rasa lah korang tak boleh nak bikin benda tu, korang kasi warning siap2 kat orang yang korang dok cerita tu. Kasi warning yang korang ni cakap je tapi bikin tak tau la ok ke tak. Maknanya yang bikin tu tak semestinya sama dengan ape yang korang cakap la. At least nanti korang takkan jadi bahan kutukan. Betul tak betul tak? :p Dan orang pun tak de lah nak benci korang sangat. hehe.

Fikir-fikirkan lah dulu sebelum cakap~

Kawaii. :d

I am trying to learn Japanese. Hopefully i can attend the Japanese class on the 4th May. :( But i can’t. Cause i have some events going on that day. Sigh. So i have to wait around July to see their schedule again. A very big SIGH from me.

London <3

So sorry i did not post this entry last week. Been busy and not feeling well actually. :S Well, okay today i’ll update to you about my London trip. I have already updated my first night and day at London.

So today you’ll be reading about my second DAY at London. Woke up at around 7.30am London time. Ate breakfast downstairs, scrambled eggs and baked beans with toast and cereals. :) Yummey. With, my trademark apple juice. (usually i only drink ice lemon tea or ice tea but there’s no lemon tea in my hotel so apple juice is the next best choice!) After that, we straight away went out to London Eye. Boarded a tube from Oxford Circus and then went to Westminster. The Big Ben is also there, so a lot of Big Ben’s picture has been taken by my dad. I don’t know why but my dad loves that Ben so much! :P 

After that, we went for the Thames River Cruise. :) It comes with the package, riding the London Eye will get tickets for Cruise as well for 20% discounts. Happy happy! So, rode on the cruise and sailed through River Thames. Saw the very famous Tower Bridge (the one that we misinterpret as London Bridge) and also Daniel Radcliff’s high school.Cool!

After cruise, we went to find the Jom Makan restaurant. It is near Trafalgar Sq. After eating our lunch, we went jalan jalan near Buckingham Palace. Not that far from Trafalgar Sq. :) We walked through the St. James Park. Brings back a lot of memories there. I used to picked up the leaves and got scolded by my mum when i was little. :P Ah. Refresh back all the memories. I know i am going to miss London when i’m back home. :( We are trying to find a place where i took the picture there, at the signboard of Buckingham Palace, when i was 5 years old. We search and we found it! Alas, what i wanted to have, i already have it now. The picture. :) Before taking the picture, we went to the Buckingham Palace souvenir shop. My mum borong banyak gila barang.haha. Then went back to the hotel.

On the second last day, we just went to the near places such as Primark and also the souvenirs booth and shops along Oxford Street because my dad sprained his ankle. Talking about Primark. I just love that store! My fave store so far, selling cheap and up to date clothes! One for less then 20Pound! Can you imagine that you can have the similar design and print from Top Shop and ZARA for 50% less price? WOW!!! For sure,i miss that store. Definitely will be going back there soon. Really really soon!

The last say, our flight is on the afternoon if im not mistaken. Boarded the A380. First time seeing that plane i went insane! It was superbly huge!! Just can’t imagine i am some of the lucky ones to boarded A380. :)

So,that is basically my world trip last feb-march. Still miss my London tho. :( Have been planning to go there with my love. Hope everything went well kan sayang? <3

   \

Busy busy busy!

Oh my God this is the longest idle stage for this blog has ever been!! One week and 2 days? WOW! A record babeh! Well, actually i’ve been busy With Uniten and also career fair stuff. Went to MidVally for the Job Street’s career fair. Aplied for some big companies and still waiting for them to give me a call. Come on come on i need those jobs right now. If not then, i’ll be frustrated seriously. It’s like i’ve been dumped by a job. HAHA. :P

But as seriously in deep cut i am in then, i still have my big love Irfan to cheer me up. Mas has gone to Aussie to pack her things up. MAS! Aku tak sabar nak kau kat KL balik. Cepat weh balik sini. Kau duduk sana buat sakit hati lagi je. Come come KL! :D Went to the Look Out point at Ampang last Thursday with the painkillers!! The view was awesome but the food was yuks! :P

So, yeah,i have nothing much to update you guys here. Oh yeah, my sayang had a job interview for Western Digital today. Hope he gets the job there. :) That is all he ever wanted right now, so far. Sayang dah duduk area Kelana Jaya tu jaga2 skit. Kalau bb nampak je syg dating dengan ehemehem kat tasik situ,siap la syg bb kerat 7 nanti. :)

Other then that, i’ll be going to Kuantan this Friday for work. Sigh. Will be missing my Irfan when im gone. Obviously. :’(

 

*Grad Night 2010 Uniten*

How to train your dragon?

How? Be kind to them. Hehe. The moral of the story is just simple, be kind to animals even though you know the animal might kill you. They just feel defensive and need to defend themselves. Be kind to animals. :) Simple kan?

Well, today the anchor necklaces has been added up from one to three! I bought another 2 anchor shaped like necklaces from Selfridges. <3 Oh I miss Selfridges at London. Sayang, promise me kita g London okey end of next year or early 2012. :) I wanna shop banyak banyak! Hehe.

Well, got nothing much to update here. I am still on hold my London trip entry. For those who are still waiting for that entry to come up here, well,maybe tomorrow i’ll post it up. I just can’t tell the story just yet because i really really miss London. :(

Can’t wait for the career fair next week. Will be going there with Izzati and Irfan. Hope that I could get some place to work at. :)

*Just like mine.But not mine* :P

Happy Birthday, PAPA! <3

This entry is only dedicated to my Daddy! :)

Mr. Ir. Mohd Ridhuan bin Ismail.

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you!!

I love you so much! <3 <3

Semoga panjang umur, dimurahkan rezeki.

Amin~

Thanks for everything you did to me. Love you from the bottom of my heart so much!

*The handsome daddy!!*

Grad Night 2010.

Hari ahad lepas, aku pergi Grad Night Uniten 2010 bertempat di De’ Seri Endon, Putrajaya. Aku gerak dari rumah, Irfan amik aku dulu then amik asyraf kat The Club, Bandar Utama lepas tu terus menuju ke McD Kota Damansara makan lunch. :)

Then, singgah drimba sebab Irfan nak aku tolong drivekan kereta dia balik ke denai alam. So,ok lah..hehe.Aku pun drivekan lah Vios yang handsome tu. Sampai ke Denai je, aku baring2 dulu sebab aku tak cukup tido jugak malam tadi. Then,aku tumpang mandi kat rumah Irfan.Siap2 semua then nak gerak lah ke Uniten. Janji dengan Yana nak jumpa kat Uniten pukul 6pm. Tapi tengok-tengok masing2 pun tak siap lagi. Aku baru nak gerak pukul 6pm tu, Yana plak aku call tengah makeup lagi. :D So, aku pun cari la dulu tempat dewan tu kat mana, then bila sampai Uniten je, Yana pun sampai dah. So, saing lah ktorang ke dewan tu.

Sampai-sampai je biar Yana uruskan tiket dulu,then ktorang ke toilet. Then, tunggu lah dekat2 red karpet tu.Tunggu pintu nak bukak.Sambil tunggu tu, sambil gosip lah. :P Irfan terjumpa orang2 yang dia kenal,time dia study uniten dulu. Aku plak,dengan Yana,Gee and Zita je la. :D

Then, bila nak masuk kat Red Carpet tu kena jalan pair by pair. haha. Macam nak kawin pun ada. :P siap ada photographer2 lagi amik gambar. Rasa macam nak kawin,sumpah.haha.Then,cari meja. No meja 44. Haha :P Hujung gila kat pintu katering hantar/amik makanan. Okay la tempat dia, dekat dengan buffet. :P

MC malam tu adalah Akak Adibah Noor. Wow! Bajunya merah menyala! Merlit-lit-lit.AHA :) Best akak Adibah jadi MC kiranya lively la dewan tu.Tak de lah suram mana. Pihak penganjur dia senyap2 je,tak bgtau siapa MC pun. Last2 terkejut.hehe. :) Artis rupanya..Artis yang perform yang aku pernah dengar pun TILU band je. Lain2 kebanyakkan macam indie or student punya band.

Makan pulak, ada chicken chop and yang kat buffet ada laksa,nasi beriani,rendang tok,udang,mee kari,buah2,kueh…chocolate fountain dan banyak lagi la. :) Makan punya makan,amik gambar semua…dah enjoy sakan dengan price yang ktorang bayar tu..masing2 pun balik..but before that, amik gambar ala-ala studio kat luar.bayar rm5 je. :D

Sila lah layan gambar kat Grad Night. Masih menunggu gambar2 dari yang lain..hehe.

Entry LONDON ditunda lagi. :( Sebab aku tak bleh cerita,nant teringat~

 

Liar = Lies + Made up stories – Trusts / People.

I hate people who lies..Or lets make narrow it a little bit. I hate people who just don’t know how to lie. I wasn’t good at lying before this. And that is why everything that i said will be true from my heart.

I hate people who can’t like now. I mean, if you don’t know how to tell lies, just don’t. Cause liar are made from Lies (of course!) plus they must made up stories to tell lies. And because of that, the trust will be going low and then at last it will make people go to separate ways. So, do not tell lies if you don’t know how to.

Like, you updated your BB status but you just can’t reply your GF’s call and SMSes. WTF! And then tell lies some more.Saying that your phone is not with you. You left it at home. Bullshit. 100000 (infinity) % Bullshit! Gotcha there dude. Well, you guys have balls but you suck at lying!

So, do not ever lie if you totally suck at it!

Forget the past…

Ada orang tu,selalu berkata kat aku, lupakan yang lama..benda tu dah lama jadi,lupakan je lah..Tapi sebenarnya untuk melupakan benda yang terjadi tu sungguh la payah.

Sebenarnya aku agak tertekan. Tapi aku memang tak boleh nak cerita kenapa aku tertekan. Cuma aku dan Allah je yang tau. Aku tak nak cerita pasal benda ni sebenarnya tapi ntah lah,aku merasakan bahawa aku patut ‘meluahkan’ dengan cara sebegini. Jangan lah tanya aku ape sebab aku tertekan. Memang aku takkan jawab. Aku memang play safe skarang ni untuk entry ni. Sebab aku malas nak bertekak. Penat lah bertekak pasal benda yang sama kan? So, sapa2 tanya,aku takkan jawab pun.

Aku berharap, benda ni akan ada solusinya. G mampos lah ape nak jadi. Aku akan fikirkan cara supaya korang ni tak sakitkan hati aku lagi walaupun sebenarnya masing-masing tak sakitkan hati siapa-siapa pun. Tapi,aku sebagai orang tengah, aku sakit. Jangan anggap macam aku ni tak de perasaan sakit. Aku sakit. Sangat sakit. Tolong lah, tolong lah buang ego tu dan tolong fikir secara rasional dan logical. Kalau boleh cakap kat aku, benda yang lepas jangan di kenang, aku pun nak cakap sesuatu

‘Benda yang lepas,jangan di kenang. Buang ego tu semua dan mulakan hari yang baru dan..jangan sakitkan aku lagi’

Btw, post ni tak ada kaitan langsung dengan mas. :)

I hate when..

I just hate it when something i own is not mine anymore. I mean, i have lost my privacy and now i just need to be really really good inside my own Facebook for the sake of……… yeah..They just can’t accept me for who i am. Talking about logical, human beings do say harsh things sometimes. Even my ___ says Shit most of the fcuking time. We have our peak time where we tend to be so damn angry at the people around you. And to me since i have nobody to turn to (when that someone hurt me) I turn to my Facebook to be my counsellor and second would be my blog. I can’t talk to my friend,bragging about the same old thing over and over again. They will feel so bored hearing the lame stories. So, instead of just go to one friend, i can have friends from all over the world to calm me down.

Who gives a damn about what i typed inside my Facebook. That is my page (even though i did not pay for it but still using my email) and i can do,say,post what ever that i wanted to say inside there. It is MINE! If you don’t like it, do not be my friend. That’s all.

 

Hey, I played Facebook a lot earlier than you. So,just shut the fcuking up.