Remembering the past

How do you deal with your past? Is it still haunting you in some ways? Do you feel like you have changed, even a bit from your past? I have always been dreaming about going back to my past and twitch a little bit here and there so that I could have a better life today. But will it confirm be a better day today? How if I did not do certain things in the past, will I become what I became today? I don’t think so. Each and every scenario involves in creating me each day.

Of course I do remember the past that I have had. During my school days and all. The best would be during my national service days. If I have not been to National Service and took up the offer given by matriculations and go study at Kedah, I would not have become me right now. Might be I ended up become worst than what I have achieve now. I am not that smart to begin with, to study in a matriculations and such. I am not that field of a person. I always believe that every single inch of things happen, is under God’s willing. And He knows what’s best for me and what’s not. I always have faith in Him. To guide me and to let me follow my path alongside His.

But will you like to at least travel to your past and see each and every un matured things that you have done? I do not have my serious answer for that. My half says that I want to but the other says that I am afraid to see my own self. I am just saying that, I have lived my past. It is still my own living and not everyone else. Of course it did involved some other people too.

What makes me write about this? Seeing some school kids who does not know anything about life just yet, or did not know anything about working life just yet but still trying to act and talk like one. It kind of makes me feel like, blergh. You know what I mean. You can plan your things like money and all but you cannot change the path that God has created upon you. If He said that you are and will never by that car, then you wont be. But it is not bad to say that you have tried. Without trying at all seems like you just waited for God’s help and that is so unacceptable.

Just ask yourself, do you like what you have done in your past? If you love your life now, you will somehow love your past to, no matter how bad it went.